


i don't really wanna be there when you go

by akajung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Summer Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 14:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12937467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akajung/pseuds/akajung
Summary: Taeyong knows summer romance never really ends well, but Jaehyun sets the hope inside of his chest alight every time.





	i don't really wanna be there when you go

 

Despite what he’d been telling himself, Taeyong remembered exactly when he’d met Jaehyun.

He was cute. Surfed really well, too. He’d been the focus of Taeyong’s attention for a couple of minutes now – simply because he was the only one _not_ wearing a shirt amidst of his friends. They were chasing the waves with a lot of choked laughters, salty from downing seawater, and damn did the boy have a nice torso.

Taeyong stared for a few more minutes. The boy looked really nice with wet hair matted on his face; his hard lines and strong arms and pale skin catching and keeping Taeyong’s attention steadily. He looked good laughing, too. He couldn’t have been more than eighteen, but he looked like he was in his twenties.

Taeyong remembered wondering how did Jaehyun stay so pale when he played in the beach all the time. But then again, the sun didn’t really give this place hell, so maybe that was why.

Not that it mattered.

Taeyong closed his eyes and dropped his body to the sand, putting his book over his face. The sound of the local boys’ laughter still reached to his ears, like a bristly cradlesong.

He was actually nodding off until he felt cold water dripping down from his hair to his nose, giving wet splotches on the pages of his sister’s book, and he took it off his face. The dark-haired shirtless boy he was watching before was looking down at him, straight in the eye. The kid he'd been ogling minutes before was kneeling next to him in all of his damp-bodied glory.

When did he get so close?

“Hi,” Taeyong said.

“Hey,” the boy said. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were sleeping.”

 _Even if you knew, why would you come here anyway_ , Taeyong thought. He propped himself up on his elbows, closing the book and threw it to his side. He wiped the water on his face, which no doubt had dripped down from the boy's still-damp hair when he loomed over Taeyong.

“’S okay,” Taeyong murmured. “What’s up?”

“Do you want the honest answer or the false one?”

Taeyong frowned. The boy was even more good-looking up close; it meddled with his concentration. “Last time I checked people don’t like getting lied to, dude.”

He laughed. “And you’re still right,” he said. He jabbed a thumb to a direction behind him. “I’m having a bet with my friends. They made me go here to greet you.”

Taeyong looked over the boy's shoulders; the rest of the boys he’d seen earlier was gathered in a small circle. Some of them were looking his way; the rest tried their best not to stare. They all looked pretty amused, though.

“You did,” Taeyong said, looking back at him. “So you’re done, right?”

“Um, not quite. I was also asked to ask you out tonight.”

“Okay,” Taeyong said, dropping himself back down onto the sand. And then he blinked. “What?”

“I was asked to ask you out tonight,” the boy repeated patiently, even though Taeyong knew exactly what he’d said before. The boy’s face stayed neutrally innocent, but hopeful, like a puppy.

Unexpected. Of course Taeyong had been asked out on a date before; just never by someone as cute as this kid surfer with his dimpled smiles and great teeth.

“Okay…” Taeyong said, voice trailing off. It didn’t sound too bad, going somewhere with this guy. Not like he had something better to do anyway, other than eating dinner with his grandmother and watching movies with his sister before they go to bed. The boy was definitely younger, but he couldn’t have been too _far_ from him, couldn’t he? Taeyong would bet that he was just a high-schooler. Probably a second or third year. “Sure, why not. Let’s go out.”

His face lit up. “Are you sure?”

Taeyong tried not to let that smile get into his common sense. “Yeah.”

“Great!” he exclaimed, looking really happy. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“I live not far from the side street,” Taeyong told him. “And yeah, see you tonight, er…”

“Jaehyun.”

“See you tonight, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun stood up and dusted the wet sand from his knees. He was still grinning wide. What a kid. “Yeah, catch you later, Taeyong!”

Taeyong didn’t remember asking how Jaehyun knew his name.

 

 

“Wow,” Jaehyun said, when Taeyong crossed the sidewalk toward the beach. “What are the odds? We’re wearing matching outfits on our first date.”

Taeyong looked over at Jaehyun, then at himself. The younger was wearing a white thin shirt, carefully tucked in to his jeans, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Meanwhile, Taeyong kept his white shirt loose, letting the sleeves fall over his skinny arms and dry palms.

He smiled. “You look nicer.” It wasn’t a lie. Taeyong could bring Jaehyun home to his sister and she would immediately approve of him. Probably would start choosing flowers for the altar, too.

Not that Taeyong was planning to bring Jaehyun anywhere near his house. Maybe later. But not now.

“Nicer than earlier this afternoon?”

Taeyong smiled even wider. “That was an okay first impression, too.”

“Glad to know I didn’t creep you out,” Jaehyun said, shrugging. “Would’ve lost some bills if I did.”

Taeyong looked down and saw that Jaehyun was barefoot. “Where are your shoes?”

“Oh,” Jaehyun said, and he looked down as well. He wiggled his toes, brushing off the sand peppered on his feet. “I left them at the beach. We’re having a party sort-of-thing at the bordering coastline. I hope you like dancing.”

Taeyong chose Dance as his major for college last year. If he didn’t like dancing, might as well just jump off one of the cliffs surrounding the beach.

“Mm, we’ll see,” Taeyong said, giving Jaehyun a mysterious gaze just for the sake of it. Jaehyun’s eyes seemed to gleam in the dark, like the moon. “Do you?”

“So-so,” Jaehyun said. “I’m not a bad dancer.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Jaehyun looked at him, smiling shrewdly, brazenly, like he did this afternoon when he loomed over Taeyong and asked him out. He didn’t look like a high-schooler at all, now.

“How old are you?” Taeyong asked Jaehyun, as they walked side by side toward the neighboring beach. From afar, Taeyong could see a lot of flickering lights on the far side of the beach, along with dulled music and people. That looked like fun.

“Eighteen next February,” Jaehyun said, kicking a small pebble as he went, and then another one.

“So you’re a high-schooler?”

“A third-year, yeah.”

“Any plans for college?” Taeyong asked, careful. University life was sometimes a sensitive matter for a lot of third-year students. He knew because it was for _him_ – but he couldn’t help but to ask. The idea of Jaehyun, living somewhere in the city, becoming a busy college student and all seemed like a good idea.

Taeyong liked that concept. More than he should.

“Well, I mean,” Jaehyun said. “College sounds like a lot of fun, but a lot of burden, too. And I already have enough burden here that I can’t leave behind.”

That sounded heavy. “Undecided, then,” Taeyong concluded.

Jaehyun smiled. He seemed to appreciate that Taeyong didn’t try to prod further. “Undecided it is.”

 

 

Most of the local kids welcomed Taeyong well – Jaehyun introduced him to all of his friends. There was Yuta, who was the same age as him, and from what Taeyong had noticed during his not-so-lowkey observation this afternoon, surfed really well too. “He was the one who taught me how to swim when I was a kid,” Jaehyun said, pointing at the brown-haired man, who grinned at Taeyong.

“Yuta’s a Japanese name,” Taeyong said.

“That’s because I am,” Yuta replied. “My parents are full-blown Japanese, imported straight from Osaka, baby.”

“Please don’t call _my_ date baby,” Jaehyun chided, looking at Yuta in mock disapproval. Yuta just laughed and dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

“He’s very friendly,” Taeyong commented again, when Jaehyun had steered him to other direction,  holding him by his shoulders, searching for more of his friends. Taeyong found that he didn’t mind Jaehyun’s hands on him.

“He’s one of the friendliest, but all of us here are pretty approachable,” Jaehyun said. He glanced at Taeyong, slightly smiling. “Even to you, an outsider.”

“I’m not _that_ much of an outsider,” Taeyong said, offended. Did these people really label him as an outsider? “My grandparents have lived here all their lives.”

“I was just kidding, God,” Jaehyun said, and he looked down at Taeyong. His face was illuminated by the dancing light of the bonfire, still unreadable. “Regardless, we’re always cool with new faces around, so don’t worry. Nobody’s gonna start picking on you.”

The next guy they met was Doyoung, who – according to Jaehyun’s whisper from behind Taeyong’s head – was the one who orchestrated the bet earlier. He looked like a good student, but his smile was shrewd and Taeyong knew Doyoung had a lot more tricks up his sleeve than he’d shown.

“Hi,” he greeted first, when Jaehyun came along with Taeyong. “I see you guys are already so chummy with each other.”

“Do you expect me to harass my date away?” Jaehyun said, rolling his eyes. Taeyong liked how he kept saying _my date_ instead of his name, keeping it specific. Cute. “You were the one who put me to this.”

“And aren’t you glad I did,” Doyoung said, looking very satisfied with himself. “How’s our good honor student treating you, Taeyong?”

“He’s fine,” Taeyong answered. _He’s quite lovely_ , he wanted to add, but he didn’t want Doyoung and the others to gang up on Jaehyun later when he wasn’t around. He glanced at the younger boy. “You’re an honor student?”

“One of the top students in his year,” Doyoung told Taeyong.

Jaehyun chewed on his lip, but he was holding back a smile. Little shit, he was proud of that but didn’t want to show it.

Taeyong was genuinely impressed. “Wow.”

“It’s nothing to talk about,” Jaehyun said, shrugging. “It’s a small school.”

“It’s still something.”

At that moment, a couple of kids came running off. They looked barely younger than Jaehyun – the taller one had light-blond hair and a weird laugh (he was laughing like he was choking when he came), while the shorter was more dark-skinned and buoyant.

“Hi, Doyoung! Oh whoops,” the shorter one said, catching sight of Jaehyun. He looked intrigued when he finally spotted Taeyong, standing next to Jaehyun. “There’s Jaehyun too!”

“Donghyuck. Don’t you think it’s rude not to greet the other one?” the taller said, smacking the back of the shorter’s arm.

Jaehyun exhaled. “Mark, it’s rude to call my date _the other one_. He has a name, it’s Taeyong. Greet him properly, kids.”

“Oh, so this is The Date?” Donghyuck said, eyes gleaming with mischief. Taeyong wondered if this kid was raised by Doyoung, because for a second there, the look on their face had the same shrewdness. “The one you talked about this afternoon?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung said, grinning. “Jaehyun looks like he’s having a lot more fun than expected, doesn’t he?”

“Hi, Taeyong,” Mark said merrily.

Taeyong didn’t know how to respond, so he just smiled clumsily and nodded.

“Alright, that’s enough talking,” Jaehyun said. His hands were suddenly on Taeyong’s shoulders again as he turned him around. “I can’t risk having you guys try to steal him from me.”

“Why would we steal him from you?” Mark asked. His face was innocent.

“Not that we don’t _want_ to,” Doyoung laughed. “But we won’t. Bro code and all.”

“I know you all have a tendency to sabotage my happiness, so no,” Jaehyun uttered. “Catch you idiots later.”

Donghyuck called out after them as they went. “Have fun, you young lovebirds!”

 

 

So far, Taeyong was liking the atmosphere.

It wasn’t exactly a party, but it could pass as one. They had hung some soft lights on the thin wooden fences at the outskirt of the beach, dressing them prettily. Someone had brought over a stereo – Taeyong had no idea how they could make it work – and played a vast array of dance songs in deafening volume. Some of them were Taeyong’s practice songs, and they got him tapping his foot, following along the beat.

Most of the people were gathered around the bonfires, dancing and laughing and passing bottles of beers. Taeyong spotted Yuta in the middle of tangled limbs, slipping in and out from one person to another, charming them with his smile as he passed.

Jaehyun saw Taeyong looking at the crowd, who seemed to grow bigger and bigger as seconds passed by. Taeyong was watching the messy, heartening footsteps of the dancing people when Jaehyun nudged his arm.

“D’you wanna dance?” he asked.

“Sure.”

 

 

Jaehyun danced well, too.

 

 

“Why me?” Taeyong asked, when they were both sweaty from too long hours of dancing, chaotic and unrestrained around the jam-packed bonfire.

They were now settling down a little further than the crowd on the blankets Jaehyun had borrowed from his friends. There were a couple of bottles on the sand next to Jaehyun’s side of the blanket, but Taeyong didn’t feel like drinking just yet.

Jaehyun picked on the grit pasted on his knees before saying, “Why you what?”

“Why was I chosen for your bet.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun said. He gave it a short thought. “Because Doyoung knows your sister. She’s his coworker.”

Taeyong slid down on his back, resting his head on his arm. He’d been staring too much at Jaehyun this evening, but he still didn’t get bored of him yet. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“You were the safest choice,” Jaehyun explained. “Safe, as in Doyoung knows the most about you, so he was sure there would be less risk of things getting out of hand when he picked you.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“You don’t have to understand,” Jaehyun told him. “Also, do you want to know the other reason?”

“There’s another reason?”

“Yeah. This one’s my reason.”

Taeyong propped his head a little higher. This should be interesting.

“Sure, spill the bean.”

“You were the cutest among all of the people on the beach,” Jaehyun said, and he had the audacity to grin at Taeyong whilst he said it. Taeyong stared dumbly.

“You’re a minor, Jaehyun. You can’t say things like that to someone older than you,” Taeyong finally retorted, putting a hand over his chest in mock disbelief.

“Who says?” He was still grinning.

“I say.”

“But don’t you like being called cute? I just complimented you.”

“Of course I do. Who doesn’t like being called cute?”

“I prefer handsome than cute, actually.”

“Alright, handsome,” Taeyong teased. “Get me that bottle.”

At least Taeyong didn’t have to lie about that. He pretended that when his knuckles brushed against Jaehyun’s hand while he passed him a bottle, it didn’t propel a thousand of smattering, liquefied stars under his skin.

 

Taeyong watched as Jaehyun left the porch of his grandmother’s house. Before he could lose his nerve, he called out after him, “Do you want to have lunch together tomorrow?”

Jaehyun turned around. It was dark, but Taeyong knew he was grinning wide from ear to ear. This didn’t help his heart, that was suddenly beating faster than usual.

God, he was too _old_ for this much butterflies inside of his stomach.

“Definitely,” he said. “Come see me at the beach.”

“I’m _always_ at the beach.”

Jaehyun laughed. “I know.”

 

 

The way Jaehyun came out from the waves felt too much like he was shooting an ad.

“That’s not fair,” Taeyong said, when Jaehyun had spotted him and immediately paddled over to meet him. His board was tucked under his arm, dark hair dripping over his forehead and brows. He wore a shirt today, but that didn’t help much when he was wet, anyway. Taeyong had to try his best not to stare.

 _He’s a kid_ , he reminded himself. _Well, not really, but still._

“What’s not fair?”

“You,” Taeyong replied. “Why do you still look so good when you’re drenched from head to toe like a dog hailing from the sea? Commercials could hire you to promote their most useless stuff and it’ll still sell.”

“What,” Jaehyun said, chortling. “You think I look good? Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Taeyong gave in; he stared directly at Jaehyun now. The boy was staring back, smiling with that dimpled cheeks of his, with raised brows and gleaming eyes. Water dribbled down from his nose to the soft line of his jaw. Taeyong caught the falling bead of water from his face with his palm, but Jaehyun didn’t notice. The water splashed on his skin.

“Are we flirting?” Taeyong suddenly asked.

Jaehyun laughed again. “Maybe. Or honest, suggestive salutations, if you may.”

“Okay, enough,” Taeyong said, shoving Jaehyun away with his shoulder. “Go get changed and recommend me some good food to eat.”

 

 

They ate on a small diner just across the beach street.

“We’re at a beach,” Taeyong deadpanned. “And you chose to take me to a diner.”

“Hey! They serve good ice cream, okay,” Jaehyun said defensively. “And in my defense, I know for a fact that you haven’t ever gone out to eat anywhere. If you had, you would’ve known that this place is great.”

“Okay. You’re the guide.”

Jaehyun’s hair was still damp; Taeyong reached his hand out to flick a stray strand from over his eyebrow. He smiled, but didn’t say anything.

“Did your friends know we’re going on another date?”

Jaehyun snorted. “They always know. Here’s a small place.”

“What do they think?”

“I barely care,” Jaehyun said. “Yuta’s bummed out because I bailed and left him to surf alone. He’s a grown ass man, he could handle himself.”

The waitress came to serve them their drinks and fries. Taeyong didn’t realize he was leaning closer to Jaehyun as he talked, and he quickly pulled himself back.

Taeyong put one fry on his mouth, and Jaehyun suddenly said, “Do you want to dance again this evening?”

He looked up. Jaehyun was playing with his straw. “I didn’t know everyday’s a party day.”

“Not everyday,” Jaehyun said. “Not at the beach, anyway. At Yuta’s place.”

“Are you sure?” Taeyong asked. “I mean, will Yuta be okay with that?”

Jaehyun grinned. “Do I look like I care what he thinks?”

“Yes,” Taeyong honestly replied.

“Okay, you’re right, I _do_ care,” Jaehyun said, serious again. “But he won’t mind. In fact, he’d asked me if you would make an appearance – with me. Right before I bailed on him.”

“He could’ve changed his mind,” Taeyong tried again, smiling. “He might start detesting me now since I have been, uh, monopolizing your company a bit too much in such a short span of time.”

“Have you?” Jaehyun said. He leaned on his elbow. “Do you think we’re moving too fast?”

Taeyong didn’t know which meaning did Jaehyun want to know by that. In fact, he didn’t know on what context Jaehyun was treading currently.

“We don’t have to,” he said tentatively. “But I don’t think anything, no.”

Jaehyun didn’t say anything about pace after that.

 

 

“Let’s share ice cream,” he later suggested. “Order the big one. With a lot of fruits.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

 

“Did I hear this wrong?” His sister said from the door, leaning her body on the frame and crossing her arms. “My reclusive little brother, who cares about nothing but dancing, is going on a date with a local hot stud? And the second date, too, at that?”

“Oh, lay off,” Taeyong said, throwing a pillow from his bed at her face.

 

 

In the middle of Yuta’s packed house and circulating red cups of beer, Jaehyun suddenly grabbed Taeyong by the arm and yelled in his ear, because unless he yelled Taeyong wouldn’t had been able to hear him over the thunderous music.

“Do you know how to surf?”

Taeyong stared at Jaehyun, frowning, still moving his hands to the beat. Yuta had a really good taste in music.

“No,” he yelled back. “Are you going to teach me?”

 

 

Needless to say, Taeyong had a really bad time trying not to drown.

Jaehyun was laughing his ass off. “Oh my God,” he said, when he pulled Taeyong again by the back of his shirt out of the water. He looked really happy even though he almost got Taeyong drowned. “You’re like a seal.”

Taeyong panted, spitting out water from his lungs. The briny taste of seawater stayed on the walls of his throat, and even though he was sure he’d swallowed enough to fill a gallon now, his mouth was dry from the salt.

“I’m pretty sure seals _can_ swim,” he coughed out breathlessly, while Jaehyun helped him climb up the board again. At least this stupid surfing lesson gave Jaehyun an actual reason to place his hands on Taeyong without having too much questions asked.

“A baby seal, then,” Jaehyun offered. “Newborn seal. Do you want to try again?”

“I don’t question your credibility in surfing,” Taeyong said. “But in teaching.”

Jaehyun took no offense from that. “Yeah, you’re definitely trying again.”

At the very least, Jaehyun gave him a lot of substantiated hugs today, even if Taeyong had to drown himself a hundred more time first.

 

 

Taeyong began counting the days of his summer holiday, striking the passing date on his calendar with a red marker and a forthcoming blue inside of his chest.

 

 

Jaehyun’s friends became more habituated with his presence now. At one Saturday evening, two weeks after Taeyong met Jaehyun, they invited him to join their group gathering on the beach, treating him like he had always been one of them.

“So I’m not an outsider anymore?” Taeyong asked Jaehyun in a whisper, after Jaehyun had picked him up from the house. He was now playing with the belt loop of his dark jeans, staying a few feet away from Taeyong as they walked toward Doyoung and Co., who were busy lighting up the fire before it got too dark.

It took him a while to answer.

“Aw, come on,” Jaehyun said, frowning and bumping his shoulders at Taeyong. “You were the one who said you weren’t an outsider.”

“I’m not! But evidently you guys thought I was at one point in time,” Taeyong countered. “And even though I’m not an outsider, I’m still not a part of your circle.”

“There’s no circle,” Jaehyun insisted. “Come on, is this really the time to get insecure? I told you, we’re always cool with any new face.” Jaehyun paused. “And it’s not like you’re a new face, either.”

“Because I’ve been spending time with you?”

“Because you’ve been spending time with me,” Jaehyun confirmed. “And also because Doyoung knows your sister. But mostly because you’ve been spending time with me.”

“I don’t know what to think about that.”

“You don’t have to think about anything,” Jaehyun told him, in a very soft tone that made Taeyong turn his head to look at him. “Yuta’s not really role model material, but he once said that nothing matters more than the present moment, and I think that’s true.”

Taeyong chuckled. “Must be one of the realest things he’s ever said, then.”

“He says important things too, sometimes,” Jaehyun said, laughing along with Taeyong. He reached out his hand, as if he wanted Taeyong to hold his hand, but then he pulled away. Taeyong didn’t miss the hesitancy in his smile, as he just turned away and laughed again.

It didn’t make any sense. Why did he have to pull away?

 

 

“Here come the lovebirds,” Yuta whistled loudly, when Jaehyun and Taeyong reached the logs placed as chairs around the fire. Taeyong just rolled his eyes, hands inside of his pocket, while Jaehyun kneeled to get some sand to throw at Yuta. Yuta just sniggered as he blocked the upcoming sand with his arms.

“Taeyong’s here as a friend today,” Doyoung announced, mostly to Yuta. “Not just as Jaehyun’s sort-of permanent date. For once.”

The word _permanent_ kind of hit Taeyong hard, because he suddenly remembered his calendar back at home, with the numbers crossed off and waiting for the season to end. He swallowed back his worry, before sitting down next to the blond kid, Mark.

“Hi,” the boy said cheerfully, oblivious to Taeyong’s inner turmoil. “Have fun!”

“Thanks,” Taeyong replied, forcing himself to smile. “You too.”

After Doyoung had managed to pull Jaehyun off Yuta – the two had began wrestling on the sandy seaside – he distributed a few bags of marshmallow and sticks. “ _S’morrrrreeees_ ,” Donghyuck and Mark cheered like the kids they were, tearing the package in a hurry.

“We’re not drinking tonight, aren’t we?” Donghyuck suddenly asked.

Doyoung smacked him across the head. “If there would be any drinking tonight, it sure as hell wouldn’t be done by you, young man! Or you, Mark. But no, no drinking. This is a proper gathering.”

“We’re basically gossiping,” Yuta explained helpfully. “Like a bunch of school girls.”

“Officially, we are _gathering_ ,” Doyoung insisted. “But whatever we do in the gathering is decided spontaneously, yeah, so we’re like a bunch of school girls.”

“Mark can play the guitar for us later,” Donghyuck suggested, when they were all done stabbing poor marshmallows with the stick and began roasting them. Taeyong’s stick suddenly broke down in the middle; Jaehyun quietly switched his own stick with Taeyong’s.

“You don’t have to,” he murmured, but Jaehyun just took another stick and started fixing it so the marshmallow wouldn’t melt off to the sand.

“Let him be a gentleman for a change, Taeyong,” Doyoung said dismissively. “And yeah, sure, Hyuck. Let Mark get his guitar from the house. We’ll sing whatever song you like.”

“You’re spoiling Hyuck today,” Yuta said, nudging Doyoung with his shoulder as he talked. “Is there any chance you’ll spoil me, too?”

“Not a chance.”

“You’re playing favorites,” Yuta accused.

“I always am.”

“Oh my God,” Mark whined. “Don’t start now.”

“The true lovers’ quarrel!” Donghyuck added. “Not even my dad and mom fight like you do.”

“That’s because they’re already married,” Jaehyun joined in. “How about you try and get Yuta and Doyoung to marry? You’ll see that they get along well when they’re actually binded by something more than dubious friendship and unresolved sexual tension.”

“Christ, Jaehyun,” Doyoung said, unabashed. “There are minors over here.”

“He _is_ one,” Taeyong supplemented. He turned at Jaehyun. “Where did you learn that? Unresolved sexual tension?”

Jaehyun grinned. “Yuta.”

“God.” Taeyong laughed. Cute.

“I don’t even want to imagine what that would be like,” Mark said, pressing his hand on his mouth, as if repulsed by the very thought of Yuta and Doyoung in front of an altar, holding hands. Or more. Taeyong didn’t blame him. “I mean, Yuta would _ruin_ Doyoung.”

“In what way?” Donghyuck inquired.

“In every way imaginable,” Jaehyun answered.

“He _already_ is ruining me, since he’s so stupid,” Doyoung said. “But this conversation won’t continue to be PG unless you change the damn topic. Jaehyun. Talk about something else.”

“I don’t see Sicheng and Hansol,” he said. Taeyong didn’t recognize those names. “Where are they? Hansol’s one thing, but Sicheng almost never missed a gathering.”

“Oh, Hansol’s taking Sicheng to town tonight,” Yuta told him. He bared his teeth, pointing at the perfect row. “Sicheng needs to renew his braces. The current one’s starting to get loose.”

“Aw, shucks. I liked the last one,” Donghyuck said.

“Electric blue,” Mark agreed, nodding.

Taeyong looked at the red-hot timber on the bottom of the fire, lost in thought while everyone started discussing this Sicheng’s braces. Everyone here was connected to each other, and not just in friendship, he noticed. Friendship was visible from afar sometimes, but this kind of connection wouldn’t be seen unless he was given a chance to really _see_. It was as if for a second, Taeyong saw a really long thread holding these boys together, attaching limbs to limbs and hair to hair, fingers to knuckles and ankles and knees.

He was seeing things, of course. Nothing as vague as that could ever be seen, and if it could, it wouldn’t be by someone like Taeyong.

Jaehyun shuffled next to him, bending down to pick one of the firewood that had strayed off from the fire. When his arm pressed against Taeyong’s knee, Taeyong saw the same thread dangling around his wrist, curling until it reached Taeyong’s forearm, binding.

 

 

Taeyong crossed one more day off his calendar. The blue inside of him was growing even faster now as days passed, filling his lungs until it became an ocean on its own.

 

 

“Where were you?” his sister asked, when Taeyong came home barefoot, with legs and arms bedecked with grimes and sand. It was already dark outside.

“I passed out,” Taeyong said hastily, dropping the bag filled with books on the couch. “On the beach.”

It wasn’t a lie. He did fall asleep on the beach. He didn’t mention that Jaehyun was also sleeping next to him, though. His sister didn’t need to know more than she should.

When he took a shower later, he felt a little thwarted while washing the sand away.

 

 

Taeyong crossed another day off his calendar.

 

 

Taeyong forgot to pray sometimes. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t believe in any kind of higher being anymore.

But he had to pay his respects and actually be grateful that his sister was a heavy sleeper. When the knuckles made contact against his bedroom window the first time, he was already off his bed and pressing his forehead on the glass. Jaehyun was grinning outside of his window, pale just like a ghost. Well, good thing he’d told Taeyong that he would be coming, or else Taeyong would just die of a heart attack in the middle of the night.

“Wait,” Taeyong mouthed at him, before he tiptoed to grab his jacket and went out of the bedroom. It crossed his mind that he was, once again, too old for the stupid excitement of sneaking out, but then again, he’d never really sneaked out before.

Jaehyun was waiting on the outer side of the fence, still wearing that stupid grin on his face. “I feel like a kid all over again,” he whispered, when Taeyong joined him on his walk toward the beach – which started to feel like it was _their_ beach, due to how many times Taeyong had spent his time there with Jaehyun. “I used to sneak out with Sicheng and Mark when we were younger.”

“How old are you again?” Taeyong said.

Jaehyun exhaled. “Seventeen, Taeyong. Sicheng’s the same age as me. Mark is two years behind me. Yes, I know, I talk like I’m thirty or something.”

“No, no, it’s…” Taeyong said again, laughing this time. “It’s just cute. Like you have such a nice memories with a lot of your friends here.”

“And you don’t?” Jaehyun asked, suddenly curious.

Taeyong’s smile fell a little. “No, not really.”

There was a long silence after that. The feeling of the sandy ground had started to grow on Taeyong’s feet, even the sand slipping between his toes. There were smoking remains of the evening’s bonfires, dying down slowly, but the beach was empty.

There were just Jaehyun and the waves.

“Are you happy?”

The question took Taeyong off guard.

“What kind of question is that?”

Jaehyun shrugged, putting his hands on his hips. “Are you happy with your life,” he said again. “Tell me about your life. Your problems. Your deepest fear. Your worst moment. Anything about you, so you won’t just be someone I know over the summer.”

When Taeyong didn’t answer, Jaehyun flicked his arm with his fingers.

“Come on,” he coaxed. “I thought we were close enough.”

“No, it’s not that,” Taeyong said, frowning. He didn’t mind telling any of these things to Jaehyun – even if Jaehyun was just someone he knew for a few weeks, it felt like they had longer and profounder connection than that. “It’s just… I don’t know where to start. I mean I don’t have a bad life, of course.”

“I don’t, too,” Jaehyun said. “But I know things could be better.”

Taeyong didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Jaehyun smiled.

“That sounds good.”

 

 

Taeyong ended up telling Jaehyun everything. Not _everything_ everything, but most of the things he never even knew he felt before this hour.

He told Jaehyun about his high school friends, who came and went like he never even mattered; about how finding the major he really wanted was taking a toll on his mind and about how he had a fight with his parents – a big one – when he’d decided he'd chase dancing; about his overworking sister; about the attachment he felt for his new friends in college, and also the fear of being abandoned again that came along with the attachment. Jaehyun’s quiet presence and the cool wind helped him dissect his feelings after a long time hiding them under his skin.

“You’re picking yourself apart,” Jaehyun noted. “And placing the pieces back in yourself.”

It was strange that Taeyong knew what he meant.

“That’s how I survive.”

“Do you put the pieces in the wrong spot sometimes?”

Taeyong laughed. “Everytime.”

Jaehyun’s hand reached out to touch Taeyong’s nose. “If you just asked, someone could help you put them back in the right places.”

“I don’t trust people enough.”

“You trust me,” Jaehyun tried. “I hope.”

Taeyong hummed, but didn’t elaborate. “Your turn.”

He was glad that Jaehyun didn’t go through the same kind of friendship misery that he did, at least. He grew up good, with Yuta and Doyoung and Hansol and Sicheng. He used to babysit Mark and Donghyuck when he was younger and they were still toddlers, which explained the kids’ attachment to him. His problem was more family-oriented than anything.

“I really want to go to college,” Jaehyun began. “Like you said. Live somewhere in the city. Study something I like to get a good job. But I can’t leave home. My mom would go insane, quite literally.”

“And why would she?” Taeyong asked gently, putting one hand on Jaehyun’s knee.

“She’s sick. Some kind of mental illness,” Jaehyun said, frowning. “I don’t know the term, but she definitely can’t live alone. I have to take care of her, or she would just throw a tantrum, and quite possibly hurt someone or worse, herself. It took years for her to even let me go out to the beach after school hours.”

Taeyong didn’t say anything. He wanted Jaehyun to pick himself apart, too, so he could see a bit clearly of what he was made of, other than his warm touch and heart.

“I know she loves me,” Jaehyun said again. Now his shoulders had relaxed, as if the thought of his mother’s love eased him, made him forget that she wasn’t alright. “She wants me to go to college, too. She cries at night sometimes. She thinks she’s robbing me of my youth and denying me my future.”

“She sounds like a nice lady,” Taeyong murmured.

“She is. She likes you, you know,” Jaehyun said, now smiling again. “Saw you with me once. ‘What a good-looking lad’ she said, and I agreed. She wants me to introduce you to her.”

Taeyong laughed. “I’m flattered. Why didn’t you?”

Jaehyun stopped smiling. “Last time I introduced someone to her it didn’t go very well.”

Taeyong didn’t ask anymore. For a long while, they just sat there on the sand; Taeyong hugged his knees, while Jaehyun straightened his legs and kicked a few sand off his feet. It wasn’t cold, but Taeyong felt a sudden shiver down his spine.

“You know,” Taeyong slowly said. “This is my last night here.”

Another pause. “I know.”

“I’ll go home tomorrow morning. To the city.”

“Have you packed?”

Taeyong ignored him. He knew it wasn’t Jaehyun’s true question, anyway. “There’s always the next summer holiday.”

“So I have to wait another year just to see you?” Jaehyun said, laughing, though there was no humor in his voice. “Another thing Yuta said: _you can never count on the word next. It could never come._ ”

“Why is Yuta so discouragingly realistic,” Taeyong protested. “I thought he was a no-good kind of guy.”

“He is. Doyoung brings the best out of him, though.”

Taeyong took a breath, counting the seconds, speculating about the chance of his chances. “Do you think I bring the best out of you, too?”

“I haven’t been around you long enough to find out,” Jaehyun said, slow and genuine, like he put thoughts to every word. “But you’re definitely passing some good things in. Some unforgettable feelings, too.”

Taeyong snorted. “Good enough.”

“I won’t see you off tomorrow,” Jaehyun added again after awhile. “I don’t really want to be there when you go.”

“We’ll see each other again next year, Jaehyun. Don’t make it sound so personal.”

He said that, but this was _very_ personal for him.

“Shame we didn’t get to hold hands,” Taeyong said again. “Or kiss.”

“We can kiss.”

Taeyong laughed, but he took Jaehyun up on his offer. “Come here, then.”

When Jaehyun’s lips first crashed against his, it was mismatched and they knocked their teeth together. Taeyong choked out a laugh, and Jaehyun did, too, until Taeyong guided him by his cheek and let him do it properly the second time. There weren’t fireworks or shooting stars in the sky that night – they were all too busy reveling inside of Taeyong’s lungs, atop his well-maintained ocean.

 

 

Jaehyun really didn’t see him off the morning after. Taeyong had left his number to Doyoung, and told him to give it to Jaehyun if he asked.

He had a feeling Jaehyun wouldn’t.

 

 

At least their goodbye was two-sided. Consensual. And there was a chance of renewing that goodbye into new beginnings, if fate would let them.

 

 

“You just spent like, a month in the beach,” Ten said. “Look invigorated.”

The four of them were sitting on their favorite outdoor table at Taeyong’s favorite restaurant after class – only now he didn’t feel like it was his favorite anymore. Good, awkward Taeil was playing with the cuffs of his sleeves, looking at nowhere in particular, while Johnny was busy working on something in his laptop. Ten and Taeyong were both trying to decide something to order from the menu, but evidently Taeyong’s mind wasn’t exactly in the right place.

“Hey, man,” Ten said, a little louder, when Taeyong barely looked at him. “Guys, he didn’t even react to my complain.”

“Something is wrong,” Johnny concluded. “Or off, at least.”

Taeil hummed, but decided not to join in.

“It was okay,” Taeyong finally said.

“I didn’t ask how it was, I asked why you didn’t look stable,” Ten said. True.

“Fine, then,” Taeyong snapped. “I’m okay. Everything’s okay.”

“You know,” Johnny said, since Taeil seemed to have made it his sole resolve not to meddle in Taeyong’s business unless he was asked to. “You’re one of those people who say they’re fine when they’re really not.”

“Thanks, Johnny, you should switch major,” Taeyong said dryly. “Psychology’s looking good for you. Or maybe Philosophy, if you want to have a fresher change.”

“His cynicism’s back, it’s all good,” Ten said. “Do you want something to eat, Mr. Emo?”

Taeyong ignored him. He looked over at the menu, but again, his mind wasn’t there. It had only been a week since he’d left the beach, but he already felt like it had been years since he last felt the sand under his feet, or saw that dimpled smile. “Don’t they have ice cream? With a lot of fruits?”

 

 

Funny how Taeyong was able to function properly when he thought he wouldn’t be able to. He still woke up at seven everyday and made coffees for him and Taeil before leaving to the studio. He was still good at dancing, still went with Ten and Johnny to drink on the weekends, and still jogged around the block every Friday and Saturday morning.

He still thought about the beach sometimes. After wedging more weeks between him and his summer memories, he seemed to think about it more freely. Jaehyun was _definitely_ a summer crush; it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, not seeing him. Could be because of the prospect of seeing him again next year. Could also be because Taeyong’s affection wasn’t that deep to begin with.

He didn’t like the second choice, but he didn’t rule it out just yet.

He was too old for this.

 

“You’re not,” Taeil said. “You’re not... too old. You’re never too old for anything.”

Taeil was the only person Taeyong felt comfortable confiding in; he was one year older, sensible with a working common sense, and plainly the least problematic out of his friends. Ten would probably just freak out about the fact that Taeyong actually dated someone over the summer – and a younger guy, too, at that. Johnny would just be too busy to respond properly, and he was never really the advice-giving kind of guy in the first place.

“Yeah?” Taeyong inquired, shifting on the couch, tangling his legs between Taeil’s as he switched the channel on the TV. This was one of the rare times when they were actually home at the same time, and the habit was devoting themselves to some episodes of a really tacky mystery drama at 11 PM. “I’m almost twenty. I should be over this puppy love shit. I’m a college student, dammit. I should start searching for a serious, _permanent_ , preferably long-term romantical partner.”

“Nobody really gets over their puppy love, you know,” Taeil said, smiling now. “Would you forget every puppy you’ve ever kept? Same thing.”

“That’s a weird metaphor, but okay.”

“And also,” Taeil continued. “ _Exactly_ because you’re twenty, I think you should let loose a little. I mean, not wilding out in Ten’s sense, God forbid, but in your own. You don’t have to put unneeded pressure on yourself. Nobody marries when they’re twenty, anyway. Who cares if you still don’t have a lover? Or who cares if you hook up with a minor?”

“ _I_ care,” Taeyong complained. “That’s against the law, Taeil. And he won’t be a minor anymore soon.”

“Do you like him?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have talked to you about it.”

“I mean, was it more than just a summer fling?”

Taeyong was honest. “I don’t know.”

“Just see him again next year and get it checked out straight.”

 

 

After two months, Taeyong could go a day without seeing Jaehyun on the back of his eyelids whenever he woke up.

 

 

After three months, Taeyong didn’t fall asleep thinking about taking a nap on a blanket splayed over the grimy sand of the beach.

 

 

After four months, Taeyong stopped dreaming about the beach at all.

 

 

In the seventh month, in the middle of February, Taeyong received a call from home.

There would be a funeral at the beach he’d done his best forgetting – the small house with the shell-colored painted walls that he used to stay in in the summer would be empty from now on.

 

 

Taeyong had never visited the beach in winter. The sea was no longer blue, but gray and white; the waves were sharper and harsher. It was colder here than it was in the city. Over his black shirts and jeans, Taeyong wore a thick coat he’d borrowed from his father.

He didn’t cry when the casket was lowered; he’d shed a drop of tears or two on the way here, in the car, quickly wiping them away from his cheeks before his sister could notice and attempted to comfort him. He didn’t really need that now; he was already too used to comforting himself, or not at all.

He was waiting, of course, and he wasn’t disappointed when someone walked up next to him, slipping a warm hand under his. Taeyong felt a familiar softness of pale skin, smelled a familiar waft of scent, and saw a familiar face.

“My condolences,” Jaehyun said in a soft tone. “Your grandmother was a very lovely woman.”

Taeyong smiled a little. “Yeah, she lived a nice life. It was time for her to go; she’d been saying she was missing my grandpa a lot.”

Jaehyun stayed next to him until the ceremony was done. Afterwards, Taeyong’s sister gave them a look and went to lead their parents away to the house, leaving Taeyong alone with Jaehyun.

“Come take a walk with me,” Taeyong said. “I missed the beach.”

 

 

Taeyong took his shoes off on the street before stepping down to the sand. It was colder now, but better than nothing. Jaehyun didn’t ask why Taeyong suddenly wanted to go barefoot, but Taeyong decided to elaborate anyway.

“I like,” he began. “The sand.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jaehyun replied. “You read and napped on the sand every damn day. Without using a blanket or anything. Yuta even dubbed you uncultured once.”

“I doubt he’s qualified enough to say that about me.”

“I agree.”

“But he says the right things sometimes.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. “ _Sometimes_ ,” he begrudgingly agreed.

“Like how we could never count on the word _next_ ,” Taeyong said again. He didn’t like getting to the point this quick, but he had to. For whose sake, Jaehyun’s or his, he didn’t know. “Because it could never come.”

Jaehyun didn’t respond. When Taeyong stole a glance at him, the younger was staring at the waves, his eyes empty of any emotion. Taeyong would like to think that Jaehyun was just as wounded by this as he was, but simply thinking that made him feel even worse.

“There’s no next summer for us.”

Jaehyun still didn’t respond.

Taeyong let him stare at the waves for a few more moments.

“I’m graduating next May,” he finally said, seemingly out of nowhere. “Not that it matters, since I’ll stay here, anyway.”

“That’s good,” Taeyong said quickly. “I’ll come visit you whenever I can.”

“No. _No_ , I mean,” Jaehyun said again, now his tone sterner, less controlled. “You don’t _have_ to. There’s literally nothing here that you should come for now. You shouldn’t give that much effort for someone who don’t give back just as much to you.”

“But I like you,” Taeyong said. He should get mad that Jaehyun was so dismissive of him, not believing in his feelings, but especially for not believing in _them_ , the two of them and whatever it was that became both a blessing and a burden between them. “And you don’t give back not because you don’t _want_ to, but because you can’t. Not your fault.”

“Still,” Jaehyun insisted. “Please don’t. It won’t settle right with me.”

“Do you not want to see me again?” Taeyong asked, cautious and worried and miserable. “It really was just a summer fling?”

Jaehyun burst out a laugh, but it was a dry laugh. “I know I might still be a child to you, Taeyong, but I know what I want when I see it.”

It took him longer than necessary to understand what Jaehyun was saying.

“Can I take that as a compliment?” he finally asked.

Another long pause. “It’s sort of a confession.”

Taeyong didn’t know what to say. At one hand, he felt like Jaehyun had just dumped a bucket of ice water onto him; he also felt so hot he could be smoking from the top of his head and his fingertips. Everything seemed to work backward; confirmation was key.

“Another one thing Yuta said,” Jaehyun said again, before Taeyong could respond. “The forever doesn’t always mean the person.”

 

 

They spent a few more hours sitting on the beach, no blanket, catching up. It felt weird and also kind of hollow, since they basically just broke up when they never even dated, and immediately continued to mend their sort-of relationship with news and more knowledge of each other. Taeyong wondered if he just didn’t feel the pain because he was getting too good at ignoring it, or because Jaehyun was trying his best not to bring it back up.

Kind of hard when his face was so close to his the entire time.

When the sun had gone down, Taeyong stood up and dusted the sand from his pants. “I have to go soon,” he said. “Gotta be home before tomorrow morning, I have class.”

“Okay.”

“You’re not gonna see me off again, aren’t you?”

“No,” Jaehyun said, a little too quickly. Then he smiled. “Don’t be offended, though. It’s for the better. I don’t like goodbyes.”

“We just…” Taeyong said, hesitant if he should touch the subject again so soon. “We just did goodbye.”

“Physical goodbyes, I mean. Like I said, I don’t want to be there when you go. Don’t want to pretend I’m seeing you off happily when I’m not.”

Jaehyun leaned in to kiss Taeyong after he’d put his shoes back on, and this time, their teeth didn’t knock together again clumsily. He wouldn’t mind it if they did, really.

 

 

Taeil didn’t ask him how it was; it wasn’t his style of comforting. He just gave Taeyong a short hug when he got home and said, “I made you coffee, it’s on the counter.”

“Thanks,” Taeyong said. He was actually feeling pretty okay. “Anyway, it’s not a fling.”

“Oh?” Taeil said, paddling over Taeyong to the kitchen.

“Well, it _wasn’t_ ,” Taeyong said. “We broke it off, anyway.”

Taeil hummed in sympathy. “I see,” he said, putting a hand on Taeyong’s back. “You’ve gotten over people before, you’ll get over this one, too.”

Taeyong didn’t really believe in God, but at that moment he wished to every deity he could think of that Taeil was right.

 

 

He’d just spent a day in the beach, but it was harder to forget it this time. It took him full four months to stop thinking about the funeral and what had happened afterward.

When the summer passed him by, he didn’t leave the dorm.

 

 

After a year or so, the beach and who lived near it had become a distant memory. Taeyong was busy preparing for an upcoming performance – some stupid charity show the uni had come up with after Christmas’s Eve – and managing some of the smaller events in the faculty. He got so busy that he often didn’t have time to go home to properly eat. Just takeouts.

Taeil expressed his concern. Ten did, too, at some point, but he was suffering along with Taeyong in the same committee, so Taeyong felt he didn’t have the right to. Johnny didn’t show any care in the world as always; he was too busy chasing his own degree, targeting himself to graduate this year. If he didn’t know what kind of parents Johnny had, he would’ve tagged him as heartless, and also really stupid because he’d been here for just two years.

One one fine Saturday morning, when Ten, Taeyong, and a couple more of their classmates were stuck with proposals and paperworks, Taeyong’s phone rang. It was an unknown number, so Taeyong was hesitant at first; but then it kept ringing, and Ten got really pissed off, so here he was answering the phone outside the classroom.

“Hello,” he said, in his most professional tone, because whoever the hell would call him this early in the weekend was probably just as screwed as he was, and would probably be in need of civility.

“Hi,” Jaehyun said. “Listen.”

It had been more than a year, but Taeyong would never forget the depth of his voice. “What are you – where did you get my number?”

“You gave it to Doyoung, remember? You said he should tell me when I ask, and I did.”

Huh. He’d actually forgotten about that.

“Okay,” Taeyong said. “Did something happen? I gave my number like two years ago and you never called. To what I owe this pleasure?”

“Because something good just happened,” Jaehyun said, and there was so much glee in his voice that Taeyong couldn’t help but wonder if he was jumping around, as well. “Listen. Listen!”

“I _am_ ,” Taeyong said impatiently. “Just talk.”

“I got in… um, what’s it called,” Jaehyun said. Taeyong imagined he must be moving his hands frantically now, just like a child that he was. “A summer program kind of thing. In the city. For six whole months.”

Taeyong’s breathing got uneven, somehow. “That's not a summer program, that's goddamn half a year program. But okay.”

“And, _and_ ,” Jaehyun continued, still equally as thrilled like he was hyperventilating. “The university I sent my essays to – I make good essays, by the way, did I ever tell you that? – is willing to accept me as one of their students next year.”

“So they _accepted_ you?”

“Yes, they did! And with honors, too! They offered me some sort of scholarships and all that… but I didn’t get any of it, so they’re just going to send it by mail. Literal mail, with the envelopes and all, like a proper, dignified company.”

“With how excited you sound people would think you got accepted in Harvard or something,” Taeyong commented. “Then?”

“So, after I finish my summer program, if I’m still interested, they’ll try to interview me, see if I would be a good asset.”

Taeyong held his breath. “And where does this summer program take place?”

“Your city.”

“Great,” Taeyong said. “God. Congratulations. But… but what about your mother?”

“Oh yeah, that too. My aunt just lost her husband last month, so she’s coming to live with my mom here so she won’t be all alone,” Jaehyun said. “She was the one who insisted I should try for the summer program – and eventually submitting the essays too. ‘What good are you graduating as the best student if you don’t take it up to the next level’ she said.”

“Whoa. Okay. Great.” Taeyong was repeating his words, he knew, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to feel, even. After all these months – years, even – spending his time stressing over how Jaehyun would never be in a place close enough to him, he was dazed that it actually happened.

“So…” Jaehyun said. At that moment, there was a loud sound on the other end of the call, like a screeching metal and a whistle.

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong suddenly asked. “Are you on a _train?_ ”

“Yeah, I am,” Jaehyun answered, and Taeyong could tell this was the point of this whole conversation, the very thing Jaehyun had really wanted to tell him. “I’m checking the place out, see if I need something.”

“Oh.”

A long pause. Taeyong listened to the sound of the train moving, and voices of people in the back as he waited.

“So…” Jaehyun said again. “Do you want to meet up?”

“Yes!” Taeyong was embarrassingly quick on his feet. “Uh, I mean. Yes, of course.”

It was as if Taeyong could see the grin on Jaehyun’s face right then and there. “Great!” he said. “Come pick me up at the station.”

 

 

“I’m ditching,” Taeyong said, as soon as he came back into the room. He grabbed his jacket and immediately went out again. “See you!”

“Hey!” Ten yelled after him. “ _Heeeeeeey!_ ”

 

 

Taeyong didn’t care if Jaehyun’s train wasn’t arriving until three hours later, to be honest. He was prepared to stand until his legs hurt, fall off if they had to even if he had to perform the next week. Fortunately, Jaehyun was a courteous enough man to call him when he was already near, so he didn’t wait too long. When he saw a familiar figure, tall and dark-haired with a small backpack hung over one shoulder came out from the exit gate, Taeyong didn’t waste his time.

He was too old for this, but he crashed Jaehyun against the nearest wall in a swift hug. His knuckles knocked against the cement, his face barely missing Jaehyun’s jacket collar.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Jaehyun said, because Taeyong just quite knocked the breath out of him. “What are you, a hurricane?”

But he hugged him back, evenly crushing him, and that was all that mattered.

 

 

Funny how all of the feelings he’d seemed to forget all these time just swam right back up to the surface like they were never dried off to begin with.

 

 

“You know,” Taeyong said to Jaehyun, when they crossed the street to Taeyong’s dorm. Jaehyun had somehow deemed it necessary to hold onto Taeyong's hand the whole time they walked from the station. “Yuta does say the right things, but that doesn’t mean he’s bound to always be right.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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